How to win friends and throw people: Judo’s big impact on politics

Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column . “You join us live from Paris for this live presidential election debate.

We have heard from all the candidates, and now it’s time for the judo.” Yes, the 2027 French presidential election got a sizeable — as in 2.04 meters, or 6 feet 6 inches in old money — wrinkle this week, with Olympic star Teddy Riner throwing (pun intended) his hat in the ring. The five-time Olympic gold medal-winning judoka — that’s someone who does judo, not a number puzzle — announced his candidacy by saying: “France doesn’t need a professional politician who recites talking points and spends all day bickering.

It needs common sense, firmness, justice and a government that sets things right.” As anyone who has ever tried to rewire a house or perform their own dentistry knows, many tasks very much do require a specialist. Politics is usually, though not always, one of them, and therefore Riner may be underestimating the challenge ahead.